When self help isn't enough?
I admit in my previous life I was and maybe still I am to less degree, self improvement, self help, psychology books reader junkie. I read/listen to the good the bad and the ugly from: the flow, codependet no more, the 7 habits of successful people, Freud, Deepak Chopra, Anthony Robbins, Christopher Howard, the 80/20 principle, positive thinking, cognitive therapy, learned optimism, the secret and its variations, the art of war, how to win friends and influence people, feel the fear and do it anyway and many other countless books.
What really strikes me first with psychology books and self help books is that you feel the guilt, that it is your fault you are not good enough or work hard enough or smart enough to achieve, you can’t recognise an opportunity and run with it or network the right way with the right people to advance your career.
Well let me tell you, I have also happened to be interested in reading about sociology the individual living in and within the larger society and how that might affect an individual in that society. Poverty, wealth, health, education, genetics, war, and other factors such as the family also play part in an individual coping mechanism and succeeding in life.
The self help industry wants you to feel guilty, they bluntly tell you, you are a failure because you always make excuses. Too bad, life is complicated, people die senseless death all the time, like get punched in the face or abducted then murdered, just watch the news. So who to blame here, society also has responsibility to the individual as the individual is also responsible for the society. It is a two way street. Sociology and psychology are two faces for the same coin, you can't have one without the other. But that is not what employers think, they get the best and with hell of the rest. There is no development and training for employees’ for career advancement but only just enough development to reach their bottom line.
Also as an individual I have responsibility to recognise the shortcomings of society and seek out knowledge and wisdom where I can find it. In the same way I also need to recognise my own shortcomings and rectify them. Not only that but also to recognise and value my abilities, and that I have the better glimpse into my soul as not many people in my experience care to know you beyond a superficial level.
That said I was in a maze with 2 self help books school of thought that I found myself entangled with them for many years without good understanding. There are the New age ‘now’ ‘go happy’ ’flow’ visualisation type of school and the business dry deadline based goal setting type of school. I read books in those two camps, but I feel that both of them are missing something.
With the ‘go with the flow’ type of school, it misses the discipline and perhaps a clear vision on the end result, and with the business goal setting style it is too clinical, too dry, it expects you to work like a machine.
Yet I have o find an alternative that combines both school of thought without contradicting with each other. As I read in both school camps, and each school of those two schools of thought have valid points. I might after many experimentation to find a solution to this dilemma.
What really strikes me first with psychology books and self help books is that you feel the guilt, that it is your fault you are not good enough or work hard enough or smart enough to achieve, you can’t recognise an opportunity and run with it or network the right way with the right people to advance your career.
Well let me tell you, I have also happened to be interested in reading about sociology the individual living in and within the larger society and how that might affect an individual in that society. Poverty, wealth, health, education, genetics, war, and other factors such as the family also play part in an individual coping mechanism and succeeding in life.
The self help industry wants you to feel guilty, they bluntly tell you, you are a failure because you always make excuses. Too bad, life is complicated, people die senseless death all the time, like get punched in the face or abducted then murdered, just watch the news. So who to blame here, society also has responsibility to the individual as the individual is also responsible for the society. It is a two way street. Sociology and psychology are two faces for the same coin, you can't have one without the other. But that is not what employers think, they get the best and with hell of the rest. There is no development and training for employees’ for career advancement but only just enough development to reach their bottom line.
Also as an individual I have responsibility to recognise the shortcomings of society and seek out knowledge and wisdom where I can find it. In the same way I also need to recognise my own shortcomings and rectify them. Not only that but also to recognise and value my abilities, and that I have the better glimpse into my soul as not many people in my experience care to know you beyond a superficial level.
That said I was in a maze with 2 self help books school of thought that I found myself entangled with them for many years without good understanding. There are the New age ‘now’ ‘go happy’ ’flow’ visualisation type of school and the business dry deadline based goal setting type of school. I read books in those two camps, but I feel that both of them are missing something.
With the ‘go with the flow’ type of school, it misses the discipline and perhaps a clear vision on the end result, and with the business goal setting style it is too clinical, too dry, it expects you to work like a machine.
Yet I have o find an alternative that combines both school of thought without contradicting with each other. As I read in both school camps, and each school of those two schools of thought have valid points. I might after many experimentation to find a solution to this dilemma.
Your alternative option is really helpful when self help isn't enough. Thanks for sharing this one at here and it can guide me more on this way.
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Thank you David, you are officially the first person to comment on my blog. For a while I thought the comments section was not working. It is really a balancing act to know the answer why I did not reach my goal? Is it because I was not confident, patient, or knowledgeable enough or other reasons such social/political factors.
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